As this is the first blog of the New Near, I would like to wish all my clients and readers a very happy and healthy New Year! A common question I get asked in the New Year after “How was your Christmas holiday?” is “Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” Although I have not yet made any personal New Year’s resolutions, I help my clients identify and carry out their resolutions. It is common to feel disappointed and discouraged when a New Year’s resolution falls through. However, when carried out the right way, new changes and routines could have a positive impact on a person’s self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall well being. Here are 6 key points to consider when making New Year’s resolutions.
- What would make you happier? To stick to your goal, it is worthwhile taking a moment to explore how pursuing the goal will make you feel. If it is not a meaningful goal, chances are you might lose motivation, procrastinate, and or give up on it all together. The goal might have personal value and make you feel good about yourself, such as seeing more of your friends, cutting down on coffee, or spending more time with your family.
- Is the resolution concrete? Exercising more sounds like a very good New Year’s resolution until you question about the type of exercise and how much exactly is “more.” If the term is vague and/or not measurable, it is difficult to give yourself a pat on the back afterwards for a job well done and to build on your progress. On the other hand, saying “I will go for a 10 minute walk on Tuesday and Thursday” will give you a specific indicator by which you could measure your progress. Also, the more concrete your goals, the more likely you are to carry them out. Telling yourself, you will do some organizing sometime next week are such vague goals that you may or may not make it happen.
- Is the resolution realistic? Somebody who resolves to go to the gym 5 times per week when they have never been to the gym might have to re-evaluate whether their goal is realistic. Building realistic goals is an important aspect to maintaining resolutions because if the goal is too hard to achieve, the person could, once again, lose motivation and feel discouraged by the difficulty. Start small! Success from achieving a smaller goal could give a person energy to fulfill a larger goal. As such, a person might decide to go to the gym 3 times a week to start and then progressively add an extra workout later on.
- What do you need to carry out your plan of action? Think of the type of support, tools, equipment, friends, or time you might need to carry out your resolution. Signing up for that cooking class sounds like fun but if you do not want to go alone, you may have to find a willing friend to accompany you. One of my older clients recently had her driver’s license revoked due to having very poor eyesight. As a result, she has been feeling isolated because she can no longer drive to her favorite social gathering. Instead of staying home, she now enlists a volunteer to drive her to and from her weekly social gathering.
- Am I holding myself accountable? Accountability is the secret to keeping your resolutions! Otherwise, it is easy to drift and lose focus on your goals. Ways in which you could hold yourself accountable is by (A) making sure your goals are concrete and (B) by sharing your goals and resolutions with people who will support, motivate, and encourage you to keep your resolutions. This explains why Weight Watchers and AA are effective – they keep tabs on your progress and they keep you focused on your goals.
- Beware the pitfalls of negative thinking. They lurk in the dark recesses of our mind. It’s easy to give up when we make a slip or break our resolutions. We might think, “Why bother” or “I’ll never be able to do this.” These negative thoughts keep us from maintaining and sustaining our goals. If we listen to these negative thoughts, then we do not have to exert any effort but we also do not make any gains. Think about it: if we gave up every time we made a mistake, how much would we be able to achieve in our life? Instead, challenge these negative thoughts and ask yourself if there is anything you could do differently so that you are more likely to keep your resolutions? Review the first 5 points to see whether there is anything you could do differently. Otherwise, allow yourself to make a mistake (because you are only human) or the flexibility of deviating from your resolution from time to time - it’s all abound balance.
Best wishes for success in all your New Year's resolutions.
